i label the two months that went past as perfect numbness
and i am very much pleased to announce the last phase of this year as the first stage of a significant change, primarily the great leap to find my performance direction.

this announcement is long overdue but very much anticipated. on to more random stuff.

Simulation's genius comes not from its conjuring of ghostly hauntings but its evil genius to conceal itself as a ghost; a trace to mask its disappearance. So Carlson is wrong. Everything (almost) is banal.


There is a pointless hope that resides in this blind faith. the greatest thing we should ever learn, is not to love, but to not expect love.


i sigh in a silent way, both expecting to be heard and not to be heard.


let us stop all these pretentious endeavours. nothing will come out of nothing.


at this moment, i cannot feel what you feel. i cannot hear you. i cannot sing the same song.

unforgettable. even if they're dead.


stop this nonsense. stop listening for once. stop seeing for once.
and perhaps
we may realise there is nothing to see or hear.
then we will not create that ghost to see or hear (to remember).
and let go of the nonsense.

my weariness screams.

my prayers depart.
they disappear.

again and again
we enter into our own dialogue with our own Other
feeding ourselves, hearing only ourselves
making fools look like saints.

(I)

(you)

i am holding auditions soon for a dance performance. it will require at least 3 months of workshops and devising to achieve something. please rsvp as soon as you read this.

perfect numbness comes imperfect reaction
and my reaction will be quite shocking.
very.
perhaps.
maybe.

I am angry.
very angry.