there is no autumn here.
there is no transition from summer to winter.
there is no in between darkness and light.
there is absolutely no movement.

there is a psychedelic flux of colours in the mind
there are seasons in the closed gaze
flow! time is still here.
stillness coupled with silence.

so sorry, yes I am.
to leave me alone to be a better man.
only stories have to end.
but we men only end our stories with tombstones.

free to die!
please don't cry for me.
please don't be sad.
close my book when it must end.

i am flying.
stationary, perpetual, unearthing the secrets of nothingness.
i am still.
moving, ending, hiding behind the backstage of luminosity.

there is no rhyme to the song.
there is no melody to the poem.
there is no reason to read this aloud.
there is no time for this.

you mourn for the death of nobody.
your tears are wasted on the Neverman.
the man who never was and never would be.
so sorry, I was.

to leave him to die.
time doesn't understand
my pain of my betrayal.
but all stories still have to end.

must they?
Life, we all must go.
goodnight, we must sleep.
time to wake to another day, and another, and another.

don't pity me.
there is no reason to.
it's just a narcissistic projection.
it isn't your pain, it's mine.

we all know this familiarity.
a gulf that hope digs up.
yes, a familiar leap to death.
across the pit of dark space.

Behold!
there is nothing to see.
nothing. just a black void.
only the faithless sees.

no guarantee you'll see.
save for a hopeful faith.
only time will tell.
ah...I heard that for all infinity.

dream!
dream of your unconscious.
warning you of your consciousness.
and there you see all your pain, sorrows lusts, sins, dreams, hopes, prayers, black, rainbow,

don't be sad,
don't be happy,
there really isn't time for emotions.
don't be crazy.

be mute, but don't be crazy.
madness drives you to negation.
it eats your life away.
be silent. but never stagnant.

the river can be crossed twice.
river of answers.
haha!
I laugh at this proposal.

this can go on forever,
where was I?
autumn? yes. autumn.
there is no autumn here.

just my memory of it.
never mind the distortion of it.
night comes and ends and comes.
back to the hotbed of dreams.