messy.
is that the first word that comes to you?
no. maybe it's not a word.
maybe it is an emotion.
a feeling.
something that needs to be expressed.
so the word: messy.
but is it mess?

i am speculating.
you are probably not even thinking of that word.
it could be something else you had in mind.
do you ask what that picture is about?

i only wish to say.
theatre is messy.
theatre is full of shit.
people just fit different pieces of shit into a (nice) picture.

but that is not really my concern now.
now?
there is really nothing to say.
tear those pieces apart.
what do you see?
pieces.

let's move on.
to what?
to something else.
what?

i dream. dreams
i hate to sleep.
sleeping kills time.
sleeping shrinks my existence.

i do not exist when i sleep
or do i?
do i feel more alive when i dream?
do i see a side of me that i won't see when i am awake?

dreams are full of shit.
they are. really
don't believe me?
try making your dreams as real as reality.
right down to the fuzziness and your splitting perspectives
right down to the skipping episodes and the transport portals of multiple settings
welcome to starwars.
welcome to middle earth.
but never back to the stale room with the rusty fan until you wake again.

realities can be dreamlike?
maybe.
the differences inform me of something else.
the impossibilities.
"live your dream!"
live a life first before you know your dreams.

- thoughts of a man who can't sleep at night.