夫战, 勇气也, 一鼓作气, 再而衰, 三而竭, 彼竭我盈, 故克之。

曹刿

why must I always approach things with silence?
why can't I believe in miracles?
why can't I believe in faith?
why can't I believe in courage?
why can't I believe in vocalising my conviction?
why can't I stand up and act?
why must it always be silence?
why must I allow things to slip me by?
to react only after something has happened?
and react with such lack of courage, faith and conviction?
why must I believe that the outcome must definitely be pessimistic...

is it because I have experienced and seen too many disappointments?
is it because I dare not venture into the unknown?
to fight battles and wars that may severely cripple me?
Aha! to declare defeat even before the battle is fought...such cowardice.
but in all fairness...I did try.
but in all seriousness...I had to give up so often.


SHOUT.
and perhaps it is not only I who trembles.


but inevitably,
i shout by keeping silent.
they won't listen.

i desperately scream in my sleep,
to touch hearts I cannot see.

i can't find a way to stay,
to see you again.

i refuse to be.
i shout the hardest when I'm silent.

I like the moment when I pull out a music box,
turn the mechanical hand,
and it plays a tune I'm familiar with.
at least I can decide when I can stop the tune.
but it happens only when my hands grow tired.

I am tired.
to turn with my hands and be not able to join in the dance.

to go nearer is to be further away.

I shall leave it to God again.

(Alvin, you are a coward.)