i can't be quiet - you're boring to be with
i can't look the way i want - you look in bad shape
i can't be alone - you need company
i can't like the things i like - you need communities, commonalities, whatever
i can't behave like this - it is not you to behave like this
i can't change - change is bad
i can't let go - why? how come you and her so and so? why? so how's your past coming along?
stop telling me who I am. stop reminding me.

i like to be quiet, because i take time to observe, see, and think of random stuff completely unrelated. i like to be quiet, because i do not know what to say and I don't see why I have to put in effort to say things that only pleases you, skewing the reality who is me.
i like to be who i am because there is no other way I could look. I am weird to many but I am sane to myself. so listen to me silently. and let me be who i am being.

and i am fiction,

damien bau
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love thy neighbours, as you love yourself

to love yourself (not the first objective, as there is no first or second within this statement) but in so doing, we love our neighbours (the Other) the way we should. learn love, through being and otherwise than being, and the being of the Other. (reminded by E. Levinas)

through loving i know the loved and the one loving.
so there are no past, present and future; no transcendence but perpetual love and state of loving and knowing. hence, i do not separate temporally and "spatially" the state of loving into different entities but i am constantly in relation to the act and mood of loving. so it is not anything else that influences me to remain or depart from the act and mood, but the other and I are both in relation, which is ultimately a subjective experience as well as a responsive one that completes the total relationship.

so do not ask what the other asks of you or wants of you and vice versa, but ask yourself who you are in relation to the Other and what drives the love. the patience of love is not created by a force of corrupted nature, but a force that is inward and self-sufficient, a faith that does not demand anything because nothing is needed. the state of totality is inward, and always seeking, crying and saved in the desert of the real.

response from paulo grey.

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Ahuvya says,

I have nothing to say. he does not know how to say.

Yahweh has already blessed; you are already blessed.
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